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Feeling the Pressure

So you are feeling the pressure around doing something really romantic for

Valentine’s Day. But, you feel it has become too commercialised, and you

hear from others that you are unromantic. Tut tut. So now you are unromantic

and you think it’s become too commercialised. Well, in this case you

have two people to prove wrong. It really isn't

about how extravagant you can be, although, who doesn’t like a bit of

extravagance. Intimacy and romance go hand in hand and finding ways to

keep that sacred in your marriage is key. Nurture it.

Fear of Intimacy

Nowadays, its tough for guys. And we find it harder than ever to speak our minds in our relationships and marriages. You have got to make sure you don't find yourself feeling ashamed about not being able to be intimate with your partner. You know this because of your previous failed relationships. You have never liked being shamed nor blamed for your vulnerabilities. You would be far better of with a different approach. Trying to understand where the fear comes from is were you need to start. There is almost always a history to someone with a fear of getting close to someone, and it is the hurt that makes it hard to get intimate in the first place. From an early age we are taught to be strong, brave and independent. We need to hide our emotions, not say how we feel and bottle up what is going on inside. No wonder we find it difficult to change gear and become masters at the art of intimacy. Its not surprising that you get a bit stuck with your request to say exactly how you feel. We've been out in the world for too long, we are battle hardened, and just not used to it.

You might need a little time. So go easy on those with the fear to be intimate. They aren't bad people, they just find a difficult thing a bit tricky. Be easy on yourself.

Tips to romance your future wife

• Tell her she is beautiful, tell her she is hot. Don't reserve that comment when she is in her jammies and without make-up.

• Play footsie, usually dinner is just dinner, so when she least expects it slide your foot over and see what transpires. She might jump at first but that doesn't mean she doesn't welcome a little more.

• Take a romantic walk. How often do you and your lady just leave the house for no other reason than to just spend time together?

• Write her a love note. It doesn't matter if you do not know what to say. Copy a poem or lyrics that she likes, anything that conveys your feelings about her.

• Pay attention. If your lady is having a bad day, stop at the shop and get her her favourite treat and surprise her with it after dinner.

• Give her a massage. Be sensual by getting the music right and candles, don't forget the candles.

• Just stop the car anywhere for a good old make out session. That's right in the middle of nowhere. Give it a whirl.

Valentine’s Day Ideas

• Hot Yoga Class, Hot and sweaty and full of endorphins. Hot yoga is primal, the poses are sensual and aids in flexibility and the added heat promotes blood flow.She will probably appreciate you taking interest in her hobby. Do the math dude.

• Make it a morning date. Who says its got to be in the evening? Scatter some rose petals from the bedroom to the kitchen, whip up a gourmet breakfast, adding a little gif for her to unwrap is a classy touch is a classy touch. Stay classy.

• Build a blanket fort, this is a goodie. Set the stage for a thoughtful ‘Netflix and Chill’ evening. Be her fortress. Creating that space where your relationship exists despite of the outside world, will bring you closer together. Be playful.

• Show her how ‘lekker’ local can be. Take her to your local. But, make sure you tell her how ‘lekker’ she is. Always. Create a well thought out playlist and take a romantic drive. Down the coast, meander somewhere new. Be spontaneous.

• Ice cream, keep it simple and sweet.

• Picnic, you know her favourite foods, you know her favourite wine. Pack the basket. Be the chef. Imagine the brownie points, who needs dessert.

• Whisk her away. Taking the lead is a skill, and one every guy should master. Use your imagination and your initiative. But you never stop taking good advice.

• -‘Aruba, Jamaica ooh I wanna take her down to Coco-Mo’s’ said :’The Beach Boys’, And trust me when I tell you ’That’s where you want to go’.

Happy Valentines Day-

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