When you get married you probably think your friends and family will behave for your wedding. You think they’ll do everything they can to help. You expect them to behave the way you did when it was the lead up to their wedding, because that’s how relationships work right?
Sorry to say this, but you’d be wrong. I think we all start out as this optimistic when it comes to our wedding guests. We give them the benefit of the doubt or cut them slack because they’ve been busy. But you hope they’ll behave or come through on the day. Brace yourself for the idea that some people just won’t do what you expect of them. Here are 8 wedding etiquette rules that at least some of your mates will likely break in the lead up to or at your wedding.
Not RSVPing on time, or not at all
Okay, this is a super common problem. You send out beautiful invitations to your guests only to find that only some of them have taken the time and effort to RSVP by the requested date. This can be really frustrating as you need to know numbers to confirm with your ceremony and reception venue. You’ll also find that lots of people will not RSVP and show up anyway or bring a date when they weren’t supposed to, or anything else that will annoy you on your wedding day. We’ve let you know so you can be prepared if this very irritating thing happens to you.
Showing up late
It’s very possible that some of your guests may arrive late to your wedding. This can be very frustrating especially if they interrupt the ceremony as they’re coming into the venue. But it’s important to remember that people make mistakes and to not be too harsh with them. They could have potentially misread the invite, had car trouble or had something else that prevented them to be on time.
Texting or calling the couple on the day
It’s an unspoken rule that the bride and groom are not supposed to be called or texted on the day by their guests. This is so they can be left in peace to get ready for their huge day ahead. Depending on you as a couple, you may think it’s okay for your guests to text or give you a ring on the day. It depends on you and your relationship with said guest.
Wearing the same colour as the bride
Traditionally, brides wear white to their weddings and it has been for many years in poor taste to wear white to a wedding if you’re a guest. This is because it comes across as attention stealing which is weird when you’re at someone else’s wedding. Chances are at least someone, whether it be a friend or the plus one of one of your friends, will wear the same colour as you. That person is clearly pretty clueless so just ignore it and get on with having fun.
Not bringing a gift or card
This one depends on you as a couple. You might have requested that your guests just bring themselves if say you’re marrying far from home and your guests need to travel. If this is the case, then you would of course not expect a gift. But you might expect a card.
Normally though, most people don’t need to travel super far to get to their friend’s weddings. In these situations, you may still find that your guests don’t give you a gift or card on the day. Of course, if people can’t afford a gift then you would understand. But everyone can afford a card. The general idea with gifts is that you’re paying to host them at your wedding and so they get you a gift as a thank you for inviting them. If they don’t do this or even bother with a card, you might be reconsidering that friendship.
Assuming they’re invited
As your wedding approaches, you’ll definitely have certain people assume that they’re invited to your wedding. This might be because you had said something to them a little while ago about them being invited or because they think you’re closer than you really are. Whatever it is, there will likely be some awkwardness when it comes to these situations. Ignoring the problem may make it go away (obviously this is the first option) or you could man up and say something if they aren’t getting the hint.
Assuming their children or partner are invited
People tend to assume things very easily. So if they are actually invited, with an invite to prove it, then you may end up with them assuming that they can bring a guest. When you’re writing your guest list, you’re probably going to struggle cutting the list down to get to the ideal number you’re after. You may not be inviting your great uncles and aunts or that old friend from uni that invited you to their wedding, and getting to this place is hard. So it’s going to be very annoying when your guests come back and ask about their partners or children coming. They’ll assume it and you’ll find it annoying. This one is inevitable.
Forgetting to mention dietary requirements
This refers to the wedding invites mostly. When you send out your invites your guests will be given an RSVP slip that will have a ‘do you have any dietary requirements?’ question on there. They are of course meant to say whether they have any or not but lots of people forget. Some people also don’t say anything when they’re at the wedding either when they really should mention something to the waiter.
Forgetting to ‘save the date’, even when you sent out cards
This is more common than you think with weddings. Guests just simply forget to save the date and double-book themselves. Be prepared for this happening at your wedding, yet try to avoid it by mentioning your wedding constantly to all of your friends. They won’t double-book the date then, will they?